We’ve all encountered and/or known those people-the people who are a little too loose with their emotions. The stranger in church who takes full advantage of ‘Love thy neighbor.’ The person who, seemingly at the Pastor’s suggestion, hugs you way too hard and for far too long. The wedding guest who cops a feel while giving the bride a congratulatory hug. Just because you’re an invited guest, it doesn’t mean you have carte blanche to get your grope on.
And what about those TSA people who snap their latex gloves gleefully as they prepare to legally molest you? I thought the full-body scanner, by providing a peep-show view and risking the health of the travelling public, would eliminate the need for frisking. And why, by the way, must I hold my hands above my head, with my fingers in diamond-shape, for the scanner to work? Are we travellers just being made the butt of someone’s joke? Yesterday, for the first time, TSA staffers even asked that I remove papers from my pockets. It did take me back to my elementary school days though. I felt like when the teacher demanded to see the note I had written the pretty girl sitting in front of me. Hopefully body-scanning technology will be an improvement in safety measures. Last time I flew from Miami International, the TSA man seemed to enjoy loudly announcing to me that my luggage had tested positive for explosives.
Federal buildings create another opportunity for GED recipients, I mean Security staff, to potentially get to second base with those of a higher social class.
Maybe I’m too uptight about these things-too firmly entrenched in the priceless value of one’s personal space. If you’re reading this, Mr./Ms. TSA employee, Security professionals everywhere, please don’t take offense to my attempt at humor, but please do proceed doing your job with respect and gentleness. Not everyone thinks it’s a turn-on to be felt-up by strangers.